Thursday, December 21, 2006

Meg's Book - Chapter 3 - Returning Home

Trivia - Austin Cowles was devastated when Elvira's mother died. He wrote a soliloquoy in 1826 shortly after the death of his wife:

"I remember the hour when she consented to be mine... that tender scene when our affections were known to be reciprocal... then did we each wish ourselves the first victim to the stroke of death rather than survive and wail each other's loss... [When I sleep] my Love appears to bathe my grief and to comfort me. She appears as she was and my sorrow is turned to joy. I forget that I am wretched... and all is well. But when sleep is departed... my tears burst forth again. I rise and fall on my knees and look towards him that smote me..."


KTB said...

It would make sense that Austin was concerned for his daughter, and your notes at th end give additional meaning for his concern. The story of Fanny, which you may have been alluding to in the chapter, and the fact that Elvira is what remains of the past when his wife was alive. Maybe Elvira even reminds him of his wife, and that is reason enough to keep her safe, as he was unable to do for his first wife. Once again, I think those thoughts, expressed in the chapter, if it fits, would make the story fuller and more meaningful to the reader. But that really all depends on what your intent for this book is.

Pat said...

I think mentioning how Austin was one of the early converts would increase the sense of sadness when he becomes one of the primary members of the opposition. Was he at all disgruntled by the Kirtland bank failure or other events? Do we have much record of his decision to become apostate? I know this may be spilling beans, but I think it needs more build-up.

wbs said...

First - I'm so glad to finally get some insight into her thoughts at the end of this chapter. Would like to see more of that:
- When her father comes in.
- When she realizes Joseph wants to keep it quiet that Marietta was assaulted and is staying in the house.
- When introducing Cynthia (and who is Cynthia/age/etc.)
- When Mary is screaming and Elvira can't do anything to help.
- When Elvira is asking about Jonathan.

Other edits:
- Invert 'nodded towards her' and 'turned all serious'
- Put in * * * for section breaks, particularly when they occur at the bottom of a page (p. 15)
- The understanding Elvira has of the Malachi prophesy (middle of p. 16) is way too sophistocated
- milk bladder?

dd said...

Couple of times where the slang took me out of the era - "Seriously,..." and when she 'argues' with her father.

I would think Joseph's lip would curl upwards rather than twist.

Suggest making the comments on the homily be in her thoughts.

Like when she touches her nose to Don Carlos' nose. I am beginning to know Elvira’s nature well – and I like her!

las said...

You’ve introduced quite a few characters, but I’m not lost yet. Very, very discreet handling of Marietta’s “treatment” by the mob.

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