Saturday, January 06, 2007

Meg's Book - Chapter 27 - Missionaries

Trivia - I had no idea this event had occurred when I started writing the book in November 2006. I had no idea the dinner at Nauvoo with Reynolds and Wilson had occurred when I wrote the story about the crack in the wall.


ktb said...

(Based on initial version)
The importance of Missouri and the Extermination Order now comes into full play. Will have to go back to the earlier chapter to see if that is clarified sufficiently so that a non-Mormon reader can understand fully what is meant in this one. I think you were going to modify this in the earlier chapter to make clearer if I recall.

Woman of the relief society take on the active role of converting people of Nauvoo to the New and Everlasting Covenant. There is probably a story here in itself, but it seems to be a short side path of the main theme of the chapter, and when it just ended, the reader has to back up and take the path developed from Joseph's return.

Joseph returns but nothing is said about his experiences, his feelings, or what he thinks might lay in store for him and the people that he loves as he does what he is commanded to do. It may be useful to add in the first sentence, regarding his return, how long he was gone. I would think that a man at this point has either laid everythiong in God’s hands, or is maybe trying to understand what God’s plan is, or both. He prayed initially at a young age (15 if I recall) to understand what sect to choose. The result was his first vision, so I would bet he is praying pretty heavily right now, trying to understand what to do.

ktb said...

This is shaping up to be quite a significant and interesting story. I hope you appreciate the undertaking you have gotten yourself into. : ) I make the comments below not in careless criticism, but in understanding how much work this has already entailed for you, and in awe that you are doing this given how little time we all have in our busy days of work and family. It really is a good story, and I find myself trying to get to know what seems like a new personality for Joseph - more likeable. Chapter 19b: This flows much better and certainly more interesting, though there are still a couple of choppy parts to the chapter. The campfire scene is a little hard to follow. I recognize the thoughts and concepts being expressed, but I think the sentences are a little disjoint yet. In particular the discussion revolving around what was taken from Matthew 22 concerning marriage after the resurrection does not seem to fit well, or else I just do not understand where you were taking that. In the paragraph, the sentence starting with, "Jesus was just explaining to the Sadduccees..." seems to be a discontinuity in the train of thought. Maybe that is where I lost the trail you were taking. I think that Joseph’s return might benefit from an additional paragraph letting him return, and then leading into the banquet. As it is, Reynolds and Wilson just appear at the table, and Joseph is at Emma’s side.

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