Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Meg's Book - Chapter 29 - High Council
Trivia - At this time in the history of the Church, the Nauvoo Stake Presidency and High Council were considered more important that the apostles.
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3 comments:
A little confusing about who 'James' is. Use the last name and make the directions more definite. Also, if you are going to use contractions, use them where it strengthens the effect,'he is the mayor and also the head of the militia or words to that effect could be more punchy with at contraction. Use imperfect tense instead of pluperfect tense (avoid had had). Niggling yes, but since we are together on this I think you will understand. I'm still very interested. You are drawing me into living history.
This is a good chapter. It develops a building tension, either just within the Council or within the town itself, and clarifies the cause without too much background. If possible, and consistant with the story, it might help to make a stronger link of concern between Austin and the other High Council members. As it is, Austin’s fear is obvious, but Council’s fear is inferred and does not quite seem as direct. The emotions of the characters are nicely brought out, and the added depth makes the scene more realistic.
At the bottom of page 5, I think it would be helpful if you refer at the end of the sentence to the Relief Society list, regarding "I want to go back to June and choose my father’s name."
At the top of page 6, It is not clear to me what is meant regarding her father’s testimony in, "She had not realized before how much she had relied on the strength of her father’s testimony."
Thank you - my mother had similar comments as she was reading the chapter (I got to be sitting next to her on the couch when she was doing so - she had forgotten some of the comments by the time she went to post at the blog).
Regarding testimony. I forgot that Mormons use this term in a way different from other folks. It is shorthand for the strength of someone's belief that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that the Church has been restored. So I'll have her think that she has always relied on her father's firm conviction that Joseph was a prophet of God, that the truth of the gospel had been restored again to earth, that God the Father and Jesus Christ again spoke with men.
Chapter 22 is still living in my mind rather than in any form I can e-mail. Between my muse ;), the logic of the story, and actual historical facts, this is taking a detour and is closer to the truth (integrated across the entire story). I actually had never intended to go where I am going to go in Chapter 22, because I couldn't figure out how it could be explained. But Chapter 20 makes Chapter 22 possible. And the revision to Chapter 18 made Chapter 20 possible...
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