Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Meg's Book - Chapter 17 - Expulsion

Trivia - The appalling thing about my decision to stick with all known historical facts in my fictional tale is that I have been able to go back and insert major events without causing major structural damage to my later narrative.

For those who do not know the fictional from the factual, the basic facts of the major characters in this chapter are true - dates, who leaves, what is published, the search party and the way they found the man they were looking for. Elvira and Jonathan didn't keep journals during this time, so while their part of the story is plausible, I certainly hope they didn't have to live what I put them through in this fiction. But what I imply about JCB is based on documents and affidavits.

8 comments:

Okishdu said...

Very dramatic story from very dramatic source material. I think that bringing in the slippery and deceitful John Bennett serves your purpose well. Since you know that he was present for at least some time in the Smith house with Elivira, it has credibility. To give Bennett's activities as a counter to Joseph's helps show the difference in their purpose and means.

las said...

Oh, what a fine mess! I actually enjoyed reading this, as a nicely executed tragedy, and because the villain is Bennett, not Joseph.

Minor edits, and you switch POV to Lucy when Lucy settles Elvira in the kitchen chamber to rest.

Okishdu said...

If indeed Bennett attempted suicide, it just highlights his personality as opposed to Joseph's.

daughterofheaven said...

Oh, Bennett did attempt to poison himself when his infidelity with Sarah Pratt was uncovered. It was in part because of this demonstration of sorrow that he was permitted to continue despite the shocking nature of his perfidy.

daughterofheaven said...

[to las] Thank you for your comments - I was worried about the near-rape and whether it would be upsetting. But it passed with both you and my mom, so unless I get other objections, I'm good with where I've gone with this.

Thank you for catching the POV shift when Lucy comforts Elvira. I do want to keep this book strictly in the POV of my three main female characters (Elvira, her daughter (Emma Lucinda), and her grand-daughter (Eliza Roxie).

las said...

Of course, "acceptability" is going to vary widely. National market, probably no problem. I don't read enough LDS fiction to know whether it passes, but I'm guessing not. The near-rape scene in my book passed the publisher, but I had some objections from readers, and mine wasn't as close a call as yours. You're going to have Mormon readers reaching for their smelling salts from page 1, anyway. :-)

PatChiu said...

I think you will always have some who reach for smelling salts, but if they read the Bible or the Book of Mormon, they have encountered far worse. That little letter from Mormon to Moroni in which he goes into the really disgusting behavior of the Nephites towards their captives, and the guy who chops up the body of his concubine and sends it all around as proof that the goons of the town where he stayed had 'violated' her to death are pretty graphic and approach some of the most disgusting scenes you will encounter in any fiction.

ktb said...

The flow and depth of the chapter were excellent. The significance of Bennet and his actions are now clear. In the flow of the chapter, there is one paragraph that seems to pop uop mentioning the assination attempt on Lilburn Boggs. That paragraph seems a little out of place, but its importance, along with Bennet's accusations, likely play a large role in leading to Joseph's death and the assault on Nauvoo. It may be worth while to smooth that part out concerning Porter.

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